1500 B.C.
In Babylonia, the first known sex law is enacted, prohibiting sex with both relatives and animals. (Prostitutes, however, practiced their trade in holy temples due to the fact that they were credited with being able to literally “take men to see God.”)
1000 B.C.
Egyptian heiroglyphics reveal the first usage of the condom.
300 B.C.
Plato observes that a woman’s sex organs are like a “greedy gluttonous animal which rages, impatient with the delay when refused its food at a proper time.”
1 A.D.
The first known usage of Spanish Fly, in Rome, by empress Livia, who would slip it into the food of other members of the imperial family to stimulate them into committing sexual indiscretions that could later be used against them.
100-300 A.D.
The first love manual, the Kama Sutra, is written in India.
400 A.D.
Although he had his own concubine when he was younger, once he converted to Christianity and was baptized, St. Augustine taught others that marriage is a sin and sexual intercourse was disgusting.
855
After two years as the leader of the Catholic faith, Pope John VIII is discovered to be a woman, having died while in labor. Pope Joan (as she was later known) was succeeded by another Pope John VIII. It’s widely believed that the Cardinals’ traditional feeling (and confirming the presence of) all papal nominees’ testicles was inspired by this gender-bending incident.
16th century
Dr. Fallopius (yes, the man who discovered that tube) becomes the “father of the condom” when he designs a medicated, linen sheath that fits over the tip of the penis.
1834
Sylvester Graham (he of graham cracker fame) warns young men that virtually every health problem can be attributed to masturbation. Still, he advised, married couples should have sex no more than once a month.
1870
Goodyear (of tire fame) elasticized rubber through the miracle process of rubber vulcanization and behold: “The rubber” condom was born. For the first time in history the condom is thought of as a disposable item: use it once and throw it away.
1950
Berlin gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg scientifically determines that “some women” have a spot on the inside front wall of their vagina which, when stimulated, can produce intense orgasms. Thus, science discovers the g-spot.
1978
Scientists Whipple and Perry confirm that every woman has a g-spot. (They do not fully disclose their research methods.)
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